We've reached yet another crossroads. A thousands to cross in life, yet many seem so pointless in the large pursuit of things. You feel especially dumb when you think about how those who did so badly before you can overtake you in the next leg of life. Maybe that might give me strength, strength to think that actually, I can move on to beat those people in the next. Maybe it's these little things that give me the strength.

In all the times I spent understanding people and understanding the framework of human nature, I probably spent loads of it on myself too, wondering why such a sad (possibly) soul-less homosapien could cross on to such sad paths that, though seeps the very tangible and seemingly-important nutrients from his life, gives him so much satisfaction and joy.

Life never really pays you for enjoying the little things. Not in Singapore at the very least. (uh no I'm not gonna start a rant post about how the education system sucks or about meritocracy); guess no one's gonna say 'great job' if you spent loads of time on the little CCAs and friends you enjoy, clicking with things. Why? Cos' that ain't gonna give birth to no certificate.
Papers.
That's the bomb.
A ticking one at that.

And now that my NDU journey lies 5 days ahead of me, my time ticks even more quickly than that of others. Pretty bullshit actually, how we live our (maybe) 80 odd years of life on this earth. We spend about 20 in the education system, then the rest working on uh, things that work for each other, then we stay in that line for most of the rest of our lives, trying to squeeze in happiness, family time and all in between. Sad excuse for a life there. Everyone speaks about 'higher intellectual independence' and 'enlightenment', but who actually gets that? (well, you must get the materialistic portion settled first, before you can sit around on your ass just thinking; unless you're a philosopher, someone who already has nothing to lose, or you've gone ape-shit)





On a side note.
Nicole is really pretty. & classy, which is a must in all women. (not all the time though, some little things on all sides are really attractive, like decisiveness, yet meekness. Tenderness, yet firmness. Okay, ignore me).

Once in a while, we look back, and we ask ourselves if all we've been asking for was worth it.

Now past the stage of innocence;
Past the stage of silent dreamers.
Bad blood might ruin thy aspirations;
But yet it doesn't cease to be.
Carpe diem, they always told me;
But I knew better.
I was flipping the pages,
While moving through the ages.
Retrospect.

Time to live the written words, and write the living dream.

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Well worth it.

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Isn't it sad, when you know they have so much potential, but there's nothing you can do about it. When you ask yourself, have I done enough? Have I really inspired people? Have I inspired them the right way?
& there's so much life, so much vigour, but you don't know how to really help them, if they don't really want to help themselves.
How much is image worth in this world?
& why is it this image can shatter so many dreams so easily, as easy as the words spoken from a simple lip.

Have we been too stuck inside our idealistic utopian ways, yet practical imagery, that we cease to remember the little things that we once were? That's why we judge the very points that brought us to where we are.

Thankfully we're optimistic. I'm very optimistic this time. I hope all goes well, then it'd continue, and the line would then run down for a long time to come, then it'll be time; time to let go. For real.

I'm gonna pick up the pieces, and build a lego house.
If things go wrong we can knock it down.

Ain't gonna bring me down.

“Tom meets Summer on January 8th. He knows almost immediately she’s who he’s been searching for. This is a story of boy meets girl. But you should know up front, this is not a love story.”

Somehow, I'm hugely drawn to the kind of love portrayed in (500) days of Summer (Yeah, I think I know I said this before).
Definitely not the break-up & all, but something (can't put my finger on it) draws me to it.
That own kinda love thing is so, smith-sy.





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Once again,
I don't know why I have a Blogger, Tumblr & all for.
I'm a retro-ist eh, still blogging in this day & age.
Let's sit & talk about our feelings, woo.

(Back to my habit of jumping topics)
Can't wait for June 8D, I CAN wait for July (That is, until Area 16 ATC / STC :D)

I have a Math test tomorrow, okay I shall try to start studying.

P.S. I hate how we have to like groups on FB just to see bits of facts, go die.

I want my damn handphone back.
It's true I'm way reliant on technology, but I NEED IT NOW.

---------------------------------------------------

Oh yeah Serene, Jem & Kenneth is right, I've left this corner to stagnate.

Guess I just don't feel HUGE passion to pen down every thought I have (Besides, that's what my Twitter's for, right?).

Since I'm being very straightforward nowadays, I'll say it straight, my class is very weird. & that's in manymany ways. Somehow it seems we're bonded & smiley outside but yet the class spirit is like kinder surprise with NO surprise inside. Thankfully, everyday in school still manages to go on, with random groups of awesome people I hang out with (Pardon the use of random, it doesn't mean I choose mere acquaintances, but the fact that it changes a LITTLE here & there due to the high viscosity of relationships in 1020).
However, certain people give me a huge 'don't-get-too-close-to-me-i-might-be-hard-to-trust' vibe, I hope it becomes a 'let's-all-love-each-other-&-buy-McFlurry' vibe real soon.

I kinda miss not having CCS with the usual talkcocksingsong gang, not laughing incessantly at the stupidest things, not creating noise pollution in Macs or Cafe Cartel. JC life is so abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz.
(oh, i type the alphabets out quite fast)

I really can't believe it can get to this stage.
If you don't believe me, ask even the seniors or peers, it's absurd and blatant disrepect, if i might say.
It's something I didn't even think about before.

All these, amidst my NPCC schedule, camps, nighthikes, preps, CT Rep duties etc. & the result, I reallyyy wanna blow up at you all.
I really, don't owe you all anything, so I don't see why I'm trying my best to smile at you all non-stop & attempt to impart as much as I can.

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I love my brain, miss my heart.

I WANT MY SUBJECT COMBI.
I DON'T WANT THAT SUBJECT AGAIN, I'LL JUST REGURGITATE.

Thankfully the sec 4s in SASS had this training today to improve, thanks Ray, Xin Kai, Kevin & Hidayat! (Haha, this thanking thing looks like it's gonna be part of my daily routine already).
I'm all for change, haha.

DINNER with Wan Xin, Ziyuan, Sharon & Junyong was awesomely funny.
Honestly, the meat was quite tough, sorry for the flying part :X
We chit-chatted till' 11, then stoned & took photos till' 11+, WHERE WAS LOVEGOOD!

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Disgusting.

Just like an antagonist in Freddie vs Jason, it just keeps coming back.
I'm irritated, really.
I honestly tried to look at it from different perspectives. Somehow, it didn't work out.

Sry Shuang Yu for bailing out on the meeting, I HAD throat inflammation this morning (Somehow it disappeared, then flu appeared) - See, personification has gone to my head, dum.
Went for lunch w/ family, then went to see my currently reno-ing hse to decide on final changes, then to my sis's place (Where I played around & used up a box of tissues) & dinner.

& Isaac, sorry I can't help D:

CAMPCRAFT COMPETITION BRIEFING today.

Sometimes it's great going for these kinda briefings at HTA & seeing so many familiar faces, wooo.

To Zhiguang & Liling: I love the corporate shirt.

'Nuff said, I'm going to sleep soon.

(Yeah I know, 'What! This early?')
(Yup, this early. I'm beat.)

Labels: http://www.blogger.com/img/blank.gif

My posts are becoming more irregular, and I should start talking to myself more often.

I like my Tumblr! It's like a photo log, cos' I'm lazy to type here these days (Damn it's obvious).

CCA these days has been quite hectic (Referring to my JC CCA). Preparation for Open House, BYG 2010, CCA Bazaar, Orientation stuffs, Esplanade performance for Hua Yi Festival. So has NPCC, for both ACS & SASS.

But, actually, I don't know why I'm THIS tired.
Maybe I'm just too lazy to account for my life anymore (You might just get bored).

Okay, I'm going to go with this

http://shakethisbubble.tumblr.com/

at least for a while, heh.

I haven't visited this spot in eons, it's obvious.

CIBTC D09's over, and if I were to post all about it it will take up half the memory space of this blog, so just a summary?
Also, nothing I say here will be controversial nor revealing, so I shan't put a password to protect this blog (It's a blog, after all).

[My cliche story]
Thanks to all the instructors for making the entire course from IPC so awesome, and of course, Charlie, for making course more...lively. The rubbish spewed throughout course was, somehow, quite funny, and I really do hope these 3 weeks wouldn't have gone to naught in your path from now (Whether or NOT you all ended up as P/CIs; still always Charlie D09).

I could never fathom why so many things were the way it was as a trainee last time, but from the view of an instructor, everything miraculously changes.
The awesome committee is but a figment of the entire organisation, but it's the one figment that reminds us why we even started our journey for (Go ninja turtles, too!)

To Charlie (If somehow, any of you managed to chance upon this): You all better not forget the 5 principles we told you all to live by. Remember to learn where & when to draw the line! And if it bothers you, remember my favourite quote that you all managed to even draw on the peer appraisal sheet.
[/My cliche story]

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Christmas gathering today w/ the instructors was boomz.

I got a plush Santa w/ sweets (No, not in him, with him) during gift exchange, nice.

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Oh, by the way,
I GOT MY iPHONE.
-damn happy siol-
(Thanks to my sister & brother-in-law)

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Can't believe I'm googling what to do when I nosebleed at 3.55am, it's flowing like mad.
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